WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE FRIENDS
can we have a tumblr marriage for you guys?
IM ACTUALLY CRYING
News headline of the day (x).
(Source: iwantcupcakes, via whensnapesaysobviously)
Conversation I had with my dad today as we were outside the supermarket.
me: *notices a cab that just so happens to be the modern make of a chevy impala*
me: is that what impalas look like anymore? that's an awful looking car.
dad: you know, impalas used to be really nice cars. my friend had one when i was younger
me: what year was the model?
dad: uhh, '67 i think, with a really nice black paint job. yeah, they used to be beautiful cars, huge with four doors. then they modernized it and turned it into that *points to new impala* you have no idea how nice this car was
me: i know how awesome impalas are, i want one really bad. well a classic anyway.
dad: i remember one time, he was gonna sell it... i think he kept it though. i should've bought it.
me: why didn't you?
dad: he moved away or i didn't have enough money, i don't remember.
me: that sucks.
dad: come to think of it, i didn't see him much
me: why not?
dad: i don't know, he liked road trips a lot. he always came back after some time but he was gone a lot.
me: what was his name?
what i actually said: i forgot
what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant.
u know what would be cool. if you could wear whatever you wanted whenever you wanted without having to feel bad or weird or shamed about it. show up to work in plated armor. show up to a staff meeting in full cosplay. wear a dress to play tackle football. wear a bikini at the dinner table. dress in scuba gear for your wedding ceremony.
did you mean sims
me: *goes on the computer*
parents: OH I GUESS SINCE YOU'RE ON THE COMPUTER IT MEANS THAT YOU'RE PERFECTLY 100% BETTER NOW GO TO SCHOOL AND GRADUATE AND GET A JOB AND GET MARRIED AND DIE